Once upon a time..
There was a girl living in despair.
She even struck in confusion until she knew there is no way out from those kind of traps.
So one day,
She decided to make a journey on her own. .
All alone.
Travel like she was the sole survivor in her place and tour the world around.
Perhaps, if travelling is free, I would not have the chance to see and write about her today.
This is not an ordinary journey but perhaps a time for a turning point.
To travel alone is never easy.
She needs a strong will and concrete decision to start everything.
To choose the first step and never tend to mind a step back to turn back the clock and regret.
Life needs us to be prepared.
Prepare to be broken down.
Prepare to fall apart.
Prepare to suffer in reality.
Because life ain't a sweet fantasy.
She dropped by some places and start on wandering to find for the solution to her problems.
There are not so much thing she could find, but
Life must go on.
The journey continued.
She decided to not become so choosy and just let herself hanging where her foot step on.
Because we all know the perks of being too perfectionist even in a small matter messed our life off.
In fact,
She actually change herself to make sure she fits to her surrounding.
Sometimes, we have to manipulate ourselves while manipulating what around us.
That is how a success achiever conquers matters to stay on the cloud of victory.
I guess you already found some of things she discovered during the journey.
Now let us continue with the story.
She realized she faced a lot of tribulations along the way she wanted to reach the place she headed to.
Tears always become her closest companion.
But she never nagged.
(maybe sometimes)
Apart from that experiences, life had taught her how to entertain herself in spite of living in that desperate circulations.
Well, not all people can do the same.
Be grateful and be careful in what you have, choose and wish for.
I think I can't make it to the end so I will stop here.
Hope that you get the messages and embrace yourself.
Remember, the world will end.
So make everything to the fullest.
ADIOS
Friday 31 July 2015
Saturday 27 December 2014
The Chosen One
Flip and skate away. |
"Aku rindu zaman aku PMR dulu."
"Kenapa?"
"Entahlah. Aku rasa dalam banyak-banyak tahun waktu aku bersekolah, aku rasa takde tahun yang dapat beat tahun 2011"
"Kenapa? Sebab kau dapat A lurus dalam PMR ke?"
"Tak jugak."
"Ke kau teringat waktu kau tertangkap tidur dalam kelas Cikgu Izham tengah ajar peta Malaysia? Or kau rindu nak makan senyap-senyap dalam kelas?"
*geleng*
"Emmm ke kau rindu nak gaduh ngan mamat sebelah yg perangai senget suka kutuk kau dalam kelas? Err yang bila dia kecik hati ngan kau, dia jarakkan meja 18cm jauh? Sampai ustazah tegur pun dia buat taktau, nak kau jugak mintak maaf? BHAHAHA"
TOKK!
"Aiyok. Sakit lah makcik!"
"Kau merepek je banyak" *jeling*
"Actually, semua tu aku rindu. Rindu sangat sangat tapi bukan tu yang aku fikirkan."
"Jadi apa?"
"Aku rindu jadi diri aku sendiri........"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People say, people changed and things go wrong.
In fact, not only people who changed but surroundings did well.
TETT TETT!
That's not what am I going to say.
Somehow.. for a while, I'm lack of ideas on how to spill out things that made my mind crowded.
I think it is just the matter of words chosen.
But...
I can feel it quite hard to deliver.
*sigh*
I took almost an hour to think of the words that I should use.
Finally, I decided to say something.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adakalanya susah kan nak jadi diri sendiri?
Susah bila semua orang expect tinggi sangat sampai kita terpaksa jadi orang lain.. Cuma disebabkan nak jaga hati orang-orang sekeliling.
Apa?
Kau ingat mcm makan sepotong kek sambil baring atas katil yang penuh dengan bunga ros ke bila
cakap
"tak payah nak jadi hipokrit la, kau adalah kau. Bukan dyorang"
?
*Andai kau faham ayat aku yang berangkai rangkai tu*
Memang, it shouldn't be hard to pretend like you are somebody else when you can actually be yourself.
Cuma.. Ada keadaan jadi sulit bila kau terperangkap dalam satu atau dua situasi. For instance ;
Kau pura pura kuat depan semua orang bila musibah datang menimpa kau and family.
Padahal.. Allah je tau hati kau remuk redam masa tu.
Kau pura pura matang bila kena face suasana getir and perah otak macam mana nak pilih jalan yang bijak untuk selesaikan keadaan.
Padahal... Kau nak je nangis kuat kuat depan semua orang and lari jauh jauh tinggalkan apa je benda depan mata kau waktu tu.
Tak kurang jugak bila kau terpaksa berlakon seolah olah macam kau bersedia untuk apa apa kemungkinan and bertindak macam seorang dewasa. Berlagak tenang so that anak-anak buah tak ikut gelabah sama.
Padahal... Kau nak jugak rasa dipimpin, dilindung and bersifat keanak-anakan tak fikirkan apa apa untuk tenangkan perasaan.
Paling parah sekali bila kau terpaksa pujuk diri kau sendiri sedangkan kau selama ni perlukan bahu and telinga orang lain utk temankan kau bila sorang sorang.
Susah kan jadi orang lain bila kau nak sangat jadi diri sendiri dalam keadaan keadaan mcm tu?
Tapi kau abaikan semua perasaan kau sebab kau tahu apa kau buat tu demi kebaikan semua orang.
Benda ni tak berlaku kat semua orang and tak semua orang akan faham selagi tak dapat apa yang kau cuba nak sampaikan.
Jadi kau rasa stress bukan?
Jangan risau kawan :)
Cuma senyum jaa. Even keyboards on your laptop can smile, why not you?
Don't be hesitated to try. It's worth though.
Kenapa?
Okay dengar ni.
Allah, salah satu sifatnya memilih.
Allah pilih kau dalam situasi situasi ni sebab Dia tau takde siapa yang terbaik melainkan kau untuk pikul tanggungjawab tu.
Dia tau you will do your very best sebab Dia pick nama kau :)
Kau yang paling layak doe.
*TAK RASA UNTUNG KE?*
Bayangkan dalam banyak banyak orang, awat kau yang kena?
Jeles jugok ambe.
Padahal.. Kau ni sape je kan? Anak raja pun tak. HAHA.
NO.
Semua orang sama.
Get it?
Okay?
..............
Okay.
Andai kata Allah bagi apa yang kau rasa sekarang ni kat orang yang Dia tau takkan mampu nak tanggung semuanya sorang sorang mcm apa yg kau boleh buat, maka muncullah fenomena manusia berfikiran cetek.
Cetek acane?
Tau cycle?
*angguk*
Tau cycle apa yang wujud?
Stress--> Marah--> Stress--> Marah--> Stress--> Bunuh diri.
Haaaaaaaaaaa
Better Allah kasi kat orang macam kau kan?
Tengok sekarang ni. Kau boleh lagi nak baca entry ni sampai habis sebab aku tau, kau dah lepas fasa kritikal perlawanan antara minda dan emosi kau sebelum dapat sampai sini sekarang ni :)
Jadi, jangan mengeluh okay?
"Allah takkan uji hambaNya dengan sesuatu yang dia takkan mampu"
Apa yang kita perlu buat cuma berdoa diberikan kekuatan and kesabaran untuk melaksanakan sesuatu yang Allah dah utuskan.
Tak kiralah siapa, macam mana and kat mana kau sekarang.
Ingat. Kita ni bukan calang-calang orang.
But, we are the chosen one.
Yakni, yang terpilih dalam kalangan yang terpilih.
*senyum*
*tutup laptop*
Sunday 14 December 2014
Undefined
Some picture is best remained unsaid. |
I believe everyone has an experience where we ever be given
: Something good sometimes gives you harm.
"I'm sorry miss, I can't catch your meaning. Explain further please?"
Okay ehem.
In life, it is proven where there're some things that you thought are good for you but at the end, bad consequences await instead.
So do you understand me now?
*Ahh ni semua poyo*
There's nothing much I filled in this entry but I bet you as a reader could get the message that I wish I would deliver it successfully.
Always bear in mind Allah is a Great Planner.
He plans everything for His every single creations in a beautiful order.
Ones can't grab the sole success if He doesn't allow it to be.
Loves between two people will not forever be together if He doesn't say they are both meant to be.
Well, I believe some simple examples might happened around you and prove the bold sentence above.
We just have to believe in faith where not all things and people belong to us.
No matter how deep you wish they will be yours, if they deserved by somebody else then you will definitely don't have the right to own.
Same goes when you pray to Allah to grant your wishes to succeed with flying colors in every examinations in every stages of educations.
He will give what you wish for immediately if He allows you to achieve and you'll not even if you struggled badly.
But the sentence doesn't finish there.
: You might don't own it now but you will, later. It is just the matter of time.
Allah puts everything in beauty. He will not give something which was written for you if you're not qualify enough to receive.
So, just wait because you will not lose what exactly belongs to you.
That is why in Islam, we are asked for patience.
There will not be insatiable places for those who patient regardless to what they have done to get something that is theirs.
So why must you feel sad if He knows the best?
You don't have the power to know what happened in the future.
In fact, no one can compares His ability in overpowers everything.
Believe and stay strong for what you lost because He promises us the best at last :)
ADIOS.
Monday 8 December 2014
Move on
Life is like striking for the pins. What happen in the end depends on how your first step does. |
"So, what are you doing right now?"
"Nothing. I'm hearing the songs in my phone and keep repeating the playlists. How about you?"
"Well, normally at this time I'll be in the middle of the field and gazing at the stars"
"Interesting! Wait. Are you alone?"
............
Stars are group of dusts in the galaxy. Located along the Milky Way and emit lights when the sun disappear with the help of moon to beautify the nature at night. Wait, I guess they are reflecting light emitted by the sun.
Therefore, that is why they look beautiful every time we see it :)
One day, a friend of mine once told me stars are symbol of hopes.
I rushed to the window and nod my head up.
But, I can't see any glimpse of them.
There were hazes everywhere *sigh*
Then, I asked "why they are hopes?"
...........................
I think let the story stopped here :D
I was once a fanatic of nature.
I loved it when the night came.
I loved the stars until I can actually cry when I was still a little kid because of thinking the stars won't come back when the sky splashing million drops of water.
*raining outside*
*tears drop?*
It was my hobby to glare and stare at the window every single night just to seek for stars and moon.
I will always do the same thing until today perhaps but it's not my luck when it comes to see the brightest star.
Once in a fortnight,
Literally it became my hope to share the same interest with someone on one fine day.
..................................
......................
............
.....................
..................................
So the day I reached 18 finally came.
Months after that, I pursue my study in a place where people called it as a garden of knowledge and virtue.
It was amazing to know that you could grab the golden chance to enter the buildings of success surrounded by loads of brilliant people.
I met a lot of human beings with different characters.
Well, I am used to a condition where I have to meet and leave every people that ever came to my life.
It is not easy to find for someone who will stay beside us in every stages of life.
So now I can say that is what happened to me for real.
Maybe I could say I can't even find a true friend because they easily come and easily go.
Or I might be the one who always come and disappear in people's life.
There, I finally found someone who's actually like me *clapped the hands!*
But it is not - exactly.
He knows more than me. While I keep on forgetting every single names of stars.
So he actually reminds me back.
(LOL)
"Stars are symbolic of hopes"
Hence, I get the meaningful phrase.
I was told to believe in something called hopes.
"When everything is going to leave us behind, bear in mind there will always someone at back to stay to support and to pray for you. Just like the stars aren't?"
*Smile*
Yes, it's true they will be there, shine bright like those big hopes.
But, you forgot, they will eventually disappear when the sun rises :')
So I have no other choice than to keep moving myself forward.
We have a lot of things to be fulfilled in our life and we definitely responsible for each of them.
Although the heart wants what it wants.
When the age increases, everything starts to lose. But there is one thing unpredictable.
By hook or by crook, we will give a warm welcome for the upcoming 'present'.
I wonder what brings it on?
Something spelled..
DEATH.
Therefore, just move on to explore while preparing your very best to welcome it.
*stare at window*
Arasso.
Friday 5 December 2014
Love
"Love is a funny thing" - Jason Mraz |
"Love can thaw a frozen heart" - Frozen
I am pretty sure everyone has watch this movie.
Whoever doesnt still have the chance to spend some time for this 3D animation yet, nevermind you'll find one day free for your own sooner :)
You will found no regret for watching this mesmerizing movie.
*put on specs*
Back then, someone asked me..
"What's going on with the list of most watched movies in cinemas?"
"Why people out there keep on talking about Elsa Anna Olaf and so on?"
and one friend of mine even scream out loud,
"What on Earth is this Frozen?"
HAHAHA *evil laugh*
Well, I won't write the plots of the story though.
You can watch it soon or you might have watch this movie many times like what I did, aite?
*wink wink*
To be honest, I cant deny there's a lot of hidden messages brought by the storyline.
Every single characters played their role as well as how the reality goes.
Or maybe I should say, how exactly the life and reality should going on.
Frozen taught us the pure and sacred love is the love between the siblings, not the love between boys and girls like what we see today. Typical love maybe?
Thus, love between the members in a family should be more pure and stronger.
This is the reason why we have to become a sole survivor in narrating our ship in the middle of the sea(life).
Fighting for the sake of your family love.
Not the love based on fakes, imaginations and fairy tales.
For your information, (yea perhaps)
there're only two conditions of ending between a couple of lovers.
1. End up with marriage
2. Stop with both are leaving each others.
So, it is your choice. Pick the best for the sake of your own, people ;')
Well.
I have a special phrase for all of us out here.
"Embrace your love with the love towards The Most Merciful Creator, you will be given a true love where His creations will become the special mediums connecting you and Him"
I am not telling you it is forbidden to fall in love.
In fact, He is the one who creates everything.
But, it's not right to put someone's love higher than Who should be on the top of the list.
Even me myself can't run from this nature.
Constantly, it's growing day by day.
I wish I could say all these things but I know this is not the right time for both you and me.
Well, the thing is, I am afraid it will distance us apart without His blessings which should shower us everyday.
I know you know about my feelings but I wonder how about yours?
Chase our dream and may Allah grant us rahmat. If He gives me a longer life in shaa Allah, He will give the time for us to meet again soon :)
Yeah, fighting. Don't let the orgasm conquers your soul.
p/s: Some people are worth melting for :) <3
*breathe in and out*
Sunday 16 November 2014
Lemonade
So say hye! |
Have you ever hear a phrase - " If life gives you lemon, then make it lemonade "
I wonder why on earth this lemonade?
What I knew before was lemonade just tasted the same like lemons.
Nothing big about them to bother with, right?
Unfortunately, HAHA I'm wrong.
Well, we will never know something until we try it. Aite? *chuckles*
LOL
So now, why lemons and lemonade?
Realize it or not,
That tastes indicate how OUR life goes.
There are not just sour and sweet but bitter, salty and even tasteless.
If they don't exist in your world, you definitely not a normal homo sapiens. *hiperbollsss
How do we know where, what and when the tastes come?
Well, easy like pea >.< (direct translation)
They will eventually appear in your stages of life one by one in the term of EXPERIENCE :)
Not everyone realize the existence of these taste elements are compulsory in their life.
If there's one, maybe they dont even care.
The thing is, they built who you are!
Let say, you have to undergo a process of accepting a tragic or even impossible complicated situation, you expected life is just giving you the bad tastes. After a while, you start to blame the faith and wonder why it must happen to you?
Pathetic?
Atazagoraphobia?
We have a lot of things to be cared about dudes & dudettes. There's no use of tears burst out, screaming like ghosts, throwing everything to walls, blablabla and whatsoever.
The most disappointed part is when you forgetting the consequences and lessons afterwards.
Well, maybe I should re-state a phrase - " Every cloud has their silver linings "
* I've stated it in previous deleted entry .__.*
Once you feel like nobody would care and think nothing can help you to endure the weight, then
PUT your head DOWN on the floor and CRY loud like no one there that to scold you :)
When you think no one wants to lend their shoulder and ear, bear in mind HE will always be there to comfort you....
So just smile baby :D
People might say, " Ah kau taktau apa yang aku rasa so shut up and please back off! "
Actually, the moment when I started to leave you alone, all I ever wanted to tell you was " Tak. Aku dah rasa lebih daripada yang kau rasa "
But I just can't spill all the words out.
Can't even bear the feelings of being disappointed again.
Well, to remember that, makes my scars bleed.
Ashamed, disappointed, hurts, bruises and pains are parts of me.
But I am still nobody to complain everything that happened towards me.
Take everything positive people, if you have something to eat, a place to live, a sweet moment to be remembered and a life to be cared about, you HAVE NOT YET reach the level of an ultimate sadness of life.
So, stop complaining and treasure everything outside there :)
It's blissful to have someone who can makes you happy and smile all the times.
It feels amazing to have a story to be shared with the people we used to talk to.
And it is unlucky to lose everyone who gives you colors in life.
Appreciate what we have today.
Sunday 9 November 2014
Reality VS Fantasy
Be like the one who shines hard. |
Sometimes somewhere somehow I believe the fakes in my own fantasy.
It's better to live there than to stand still in your own reality.
Each steps taken in your life are not as easy like a piece of cake yet a bed of roses which gives you comforts and fragrance almost all the time just to keep you warm and feeling blessed through the days you went by.
Well, it's undeniable though.
Some fortunate people do feel the way we are not.
While they live in their super fantastic world, some of us here just can feel nothing without knowing how many treasures out there that need us to discover.
It's not all about their luck.
It's not all about their wealth.
It's not all about their skills and abilities.
But, there are just some sort of special gifts.
From the Al-Mighty Creator :)
Why?
Because not everyone has the gold chance to face trials in order to make them stronger.
Experiences come as a teacher.
Those bad and unpleasant patterns of life are just elements in a process of producing YOU.
What you did and will do by today will determine what exist in future.
Not the expected fortune.
*flip skate*
Bad and good are two choices.
You are the one who will decide the roads in your life.
Shaping your own dreams even though all just based on your fantasy.
Choices which make you will get values and shields as return.
Now why am I saying sometimes it is better to live in fantasy than to stand still in the real world?
You know it ain't exist, aite? *evil laugh*
BUT..
You know you can even dream impossible things there.
There's nothing called such a pain because nothing could hurt you.
Because you are just living the wonder world of yours without anyone could distract and interrupt.
It feels blessed to have such a world :D
And sometimes, it is undeniable that...
You wish you become a kid again.
You wish you will can turn back the clock and fulfil the things that you desire before you grown up.
Nothing could stop you from things called imaginations.
In fact, everyone deserves to dream one.
Dreams about something that you're sure you can't even to make it true.
But there's one thing you have to know.
A reminder though. *skate at feet*
"The nearest thing beside humans is DEATH"
People say, you only live once.
Live for your future, not the pasts and aware your present.
Future doesn't literally gives you meanings due to your ambition, goals and aims.
It also indicates how you must bring your life on to prepare for the life of hereafter.
What the use of being freaking afraid for something you know will happen in the future?
Instead, you remain silent when it comes to when will be the time for your last breath?
Just sit and think.
*waving*
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